So, What Do You Want for Your Birthday?

As my birthday is approaching next month, I have begun to have people ask me: "So, What do you want for your birthday?". This isn't an unusual question to ask someone who is about to celebrate a birthday, but it is a question for me that is full of promise and potential. Not promises of baubles and pretty shiny things, but of the impossible being possible.

Let me tell you the story.... When Ephraim was born October 2004 with a heart condition this was frightening. Then he was having little success with nursing or taking a bottle and was having trouble gaining weight. In January 2005 Ephraim had an NG (nasogastric)feeding tube placed as his primary source of nutrition given he was too weak to eat.

This NG tube was scary, damaging to Ephraim's little cheeks, and just plain overwhelming. Yet, it seemed it was medically necessary to get Ephraim the calories he needed. I had prayed for an answer to Ephraim's inability to take food for a very long time. I agonized before the LORD and I pleaded for Ephraim to gain weight and be restored. Months passed with little progress for Ephraim in the eating and gaining weight area. I continued to pray and search the scriptures.

After Ephraim had his first open heart surgery in April 2005, I began to see many answers to my prayers. Yet, this feeding tube still remained. Ephraim was gaining strength. I prayed for God to show us what we should do. Two of the medical professionals we were dealing with were insistent that Ephraim remain on the NG tube. Yet, this did not seem to be helping Ephraim. I was at my wits end.

The last weekend of April 2005, my mother took me to lunch at Montana Mikes. I can see her now sitting across from me asking me that fateful question: "So, What do you want for your birthday?". I burst into tears and said "All, I want for my birthday is for my baby to be off that NG Tube.". Of course my mother could not fulfill that request, but that was my honest heart's desire. No one thought it possible. It was in fact by some considered medically inadvisable.

I went home after this weekend and prayed. I prayed and I cried. I cried and I prayed. I opened up God's WORD and I said, "SHOW ME!!!!". And there it was, a verse given directly to me from God... "Taste and see that the LORD is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in Him". Psalm 34:8.

The LORD had given me His WORD and then He said to me "Sara, Ephraim needs that tube out so he can taste and see that food is good". I realized in hindsight He was also saying to me, "Sara, take that leap of faith, remove that tube and see that I am good, I can give you what you are asking for".

On May 4, 2005 with the support of Ephraim's loving Christian pediatrician, I removed the NG tube. Ephraim slowly began to see that he could eat on his own, he did not need that tube. He was quite honestly stubborn (comes by it honestly). It took a few agonizing days of trying, but Ephraim was eating very well by the bottle by the time my birthday rolled around on May 9, 2005.

I NEVER thought that I would get my birthday request when I made it that day to my mother at Montana Mikes. It seemed so impossible, yet God made it possible. Here is what I have learned lately though... Yes, God indeed made it possible, however Ephraim had to do the work to eat. God provided the ability and the motivation, but Ephraim had to desire to eat and then he had to make it happen.

God is the God of the IMPOSSIBLE. He can do ANYTHING, but He will NOT force His miracles on ANYONE. We have to want to be healed and be an active participant. He has great things that He will do, if we will just "Taste and see that the LORD is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in Him". Psalm 34:8.

I have been thinking about this post since people began asking me this year what I wanted for my birthday. Then yesterday morning the LORD brought the idea to my mind. In my usual fashion I put it off, then this morning I was doing my Bible Study and I came to Psalm 34. I found the passage I was looking for (not verse 8) and started to move on to the rest of my study, but instead, I turned back (Holy Spirit's nudging) and saw verse 8 underlined in my Bible and a notation in the side of the day Ephraim's NG tube was removed. Okay LORD, I get it. I am supposed to write this post.

Then as I sit here writing, I looked down at verse 9 of Psalm 34. Here is what it says "Fear, the LORD, you His saints, for those who fear Him lack nothing.". Wow, this is so true, of course all of His WORDs are true, yet how personal and meaningful they are to me today.

So, What do I want for my birthday this year? Again this year, I want the IMPOSSIBLE. God is able to answer my request, however, it will require desire on the part of the one who can ultimately take the step to change the situation. It will also take a tremendous leap of faith and a huge amount of determination to see it through.

I am not giving up. I know that God is the God of the IMPOSSIBLE, and I know that it is possible.... Will you (and you know who you are) please, please, please, take that step????

In Memory of My Mother - Carmen Antoinette Coers Carson

I've been thinking about my mother a lot lately. Wondering what she might have to say about different things going on in my life. I don't have my mother to consult as she has gone on to be with her LORD and Savior, but I do have a very precious treasure.

In 2004, My mother compiled a beautiful book she self titled "Omi's Memories". God brought this book to mind when I was searching for answers. Here are a few of her words:

On the subject of flowers..."I love to have fresh flowers in my home. It is the closest I come to having a hobby. I walk in the yard and look down to see a new bloom, it makes me smile. I have been joyfully challenged to do wedding flowers, Lily Pavilion designs, flowers for competition at fairs and flower shows. Flowers for friends and family are often a way I express my love".

On the subject of love and marriage... "I learned that loves is for better and worse, richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part. Love is a huge commitment, be prepared to go the distance. Poppy* said, "I hope someday you will love me as much as I love you." He was exceedingly kind and long suffering".


*Poppy was the term of endearment given to my father David Carson by my sister Maria's daughter Lisa. Lisa was the only grandchild to meet her Poppy.

As a way to honor the memory of my mother, Ephraim and I made a flower design using a twig and container from her collection. The flowers came from our own yard and Ephraim proudly helped me cut them with his own scissors. I am not only printing her words for you to read, but am doing my very best (with Christ's help) to live them. To share a love for flowers, a love for my husband & sons and most importantly a love for my LORD.

A Spring Break Special Dessert!

It is Spring Break and we are all on vacation! Troy took the week off. Yesterday we went to the Children's Museum and today we are all hanging out at home. Ephraim had earned a special dessert on his chart (kept for motivation to sleep in his own bed). We decided to make the Rainbow Cupcakes from this month's Family Fun magazine.

Ephraim stuck right there with me until near the end. Six bowls of batter each tinted a different color and layered in a muffin tin. Lots of work, but lots of fun. They don't bother to show you the pile of dirty dishes you make at the end (but I am showing you!). Troy said "That looks like a pain"... I said "Yes, but that is what makes a Special Dessert special". And special it was indeed!

A rainbow reminds me of God's promise never to flood the entire earth again. And I can claim the strength that God always keeps His promises. No matter what we face whether a pile of dirty dishes of our own doing or a serious illness or devastating family news, God is in control and He always keeps His promises.

Snow Day!

Today is the first snow day of 2010! My regular morning call from my sister came a little earlier than usual and roused me from my snow day slumber. She couldn't talk long because she had to give extra attention to driving in the snowy weather. We Columbus folk must not have the fortitude for the snow like they do up north.

I was up and I knew that it was a gentle nudge from the LORD to get back into the routine of starting my day with Him in His WORD and in prayer. The last few weeks I have not been as faithful with my quiet time with Him. I've noticed a difference in how I handle life when I am not close to Him and I do NOT like it.

So, today on this snow day, I gathered close to His bosom and found the comfort I needed. At almost mid day, I have been able to see Him working in me and the boys. I got tired of looking at the brown bananas on my kitchen counter and did not want them to go to waste. From them a batch of banana bread was born. I was delighted to use the mini loaf pans that had belonged to my mom. I am already planning how I can share them with a neighbor or two!

It has been a blessing too, to see the boys taking delight in the Lego catalog. That catalog brought Carson and Ephraim together as they dreamt of what they might like to buy and even gave Carson cause to do some serious double digit math. I was really impressed with his adding skills.

This snow day has been a great day so far! I am glad God is in charge. I think, I'll go have some banana bread!

No Room in the Inn... REALLY????

I wanted to share something with you from my prayer time this morning after reading Luke 2. I am usually not one to share my private conversations with God in such a public way, but I felt compelled to share with you (whoever you may be), what God and I talked about this morning. I record my prayer time in my prayer journal. This is preserved in the delightful pink faux crocodile skin journal my sister Maria gave me:

"Good News! Good News! Thank you Father for Your Good News! You are amazing! You revealed to lowly shepherds the Good News! They were the first to hear it straight from You! You were the ONE who chose the stable. No other place would do. If they (Mary & Joseph) had found a room in the inn, The shepherds could have mistakenly found the wrong baby. But You wouldn't, couldn't let that happen. Jesus' birth had to be remarkable. It had to be unique. There could be NO other savior. There could be NO other way for Him to arrive. You gave this Good News to the shepherds but You told them it was for ALL. It still is for all: black, white, Asian, Native American..."red and yellow, black and white, they're all precious in Your sight, Jesus loves the children of the world". Of course You do that is why You came. You showed the shepherds the Good News but You also knew they would share it with others. Why, they couldn't contain themselves!

They spread THE WORD! LORD, I want to do that. But, sometimes the poison of bitterness and resentment or pride and prejudice get in my way. Forgive me for the last few days especially for setting myself as judge and jury. For using words as weapons instead of using THE WORD to promote Your peace. LORD, I wonder about something else... Why if the shepherds revealed Your truth about Jesus at His birth, didn't the people remember that? But I suppose it was because His time was not yet come. He had to grow up average. he had to experience what I would. He had to know how I would feel when other children taunted and teased Him. He had to know what it felt like to be rejected. To experience what it was to feel like you didn't belong. I am starting to see it better now. Maybe you sent the shepherds for Mary and Joseph. I'm' sure they could have used some reassurance. Your WORD says that Mary treasured this and pondered them in her heart. She needed to have that experience. She needed to know that You cared. That she would NOT be the ONLY one that could testify to Your Son's birth.

The Shepherds went away praising and glorifying You. For ALL You said would happen did. Just as You said it would. That is the same today! I can count on You! Thank You for being a promise keeper and covenant maker. Your WORD is TRUE! They may not have been schooled in the Old Testament prophecy as shepherds but You revealed Jesus to them and they believed. The scholars knew from whence He would come and yet did NOT believe. All part of Your AWESOME plan. You don't let anything happen You don't intend. It is sad, their hearts had to be hard, but it had to happen so that Jesus would be crucified. How did we get from a feeding trough to a cross? Two crude wooden instruments that You used. You could have used ANYTHING! But in both situations, NOTHING else would do! NOT for Your plan. NOT for Your necessary plan of salvation. You use the despised things, the lowly to shame the wise. Thank You for revealing Your Son to me. Let me be like the shepherds in amazement. Let me glorify and praise You. Let me share what You have revealed to me. Lowly me. The insecure, inept, little girl that still sometimes rears her head inside. The some one who remembers the torment of being picked last in P.E. or being left out. yet You use me. I want to treasure the WORD as Mary did. Ponder it and then give it out as the shepherds did. LORD Thank you for loving me enough to trust me with Your promises, Your joy, Your peace, Your SON! He came for me but Your WORD says NOT only for me but ALL. Help me to live that. May I have Your Spirit of inclusiveness while maintaining Your Spirit of TRUTH this Christmas. There was only ONE way Jesus could be born in that crude manger scene and only ONE way He could die on that Old rugged cross. Thank You for the Good News! I love You God!! I give You this day and every day. That I may walk triumphantly in Your grace. Order my day!

A Banana Seat Bike Prayer

I can't remember if I've told you or not, but on Fridays, I volunteer in Carson's class to give the Science Devotion. What is this you ask??? Well, Carson's teacher uses Friday devotion time to highlight Science experiments as object lessons in faith.

I've been doing them for a little over a month. I usually try to tie the week's memory verse or Bible story to the lesson. This week Matthew 7:7&8. "Ask and it will be given to you, seek and you will find, knock and the door will be opened to you".

Prayer became the focus and I used a pre-planned lesson from a book with an experiment that used soda water & salt to fizz up and over the top as we "bubble up" with prayer to God. Before the experiment though, I talked with the kids about prayer and we looked up additional scripture. I had planned what I was going to share, but as I was sharing, I found myself compelled to tell about my first tangible memory of answered prayer.

I'd like to say that it was a memory of a healed family member or a resolved personal problem, but no it was nothing like that. I told them how my Dad was going to the bike shop to buy an inner tube to fix my sister's bike. I tagged along and on the way began to pray that I would get a bike myself. The ride there in my Dad's old white pick up truck was not a long one around 12 blocks or so.

We went in to get the inner tube and there on the show room floor was a collection of used bikes for sale. A yellow bike with a pink daisy covered white banana seat caught my eye. Oh that was the bike I had prayed for, I just knew it. My parents did not have extra money. It was not my birthday or any special day and my parents did not spend money on a whim. Despite all that, I left the shop that day with the bike for which I had prayed.

Now, I was quick to point out that God is not a giant wish machine (like on Webkinz Carson added). I know that God does know the desires of our heart and He does delight in answering our prayers. After many disclaimers that God does not take special orders for Wii games and the like, I went on to tell them about the power that God has in answering our prayers. His power is what bubbles up like our soda water and salt. Without Him, we are nothing like what we can be with His power.

God's power is evident as we see the world around us. As we see changes in ourselves and in the people around us. I've said it before and I'll say it again, God's Word tells in in Isaiah 59:1, "His arm is not too short to save, nor His ear to dull to hear". What is your prayer today? You may not get the "bike" that you've prayed for, but you will see an answer to the needs you lift to Him. His timing is perfect and so is His will.

He is Listening

I have said it before, but I'll say it again, my boys constantly amaze me. Sometimes I think what I say falls on deaf ears or at the very least uninterested ears. Yet, I have the promise from God's Word that it does not return void. So I persist in sharing my love for God with the boys and living out the grace that God has shared with me in His Son Jesus.

This week God showed me yet again, that the boys are starting to get it. Here is the proof:

My mother in law came to our house to discuss a need that someone in our family had. We were both expressing our frustration over what seemed like the futility of the subject. My mother in law said "What can I do?". A quiet voice spoke up and said "You could pray". Yes, Ephraim realized what we needed to do. It wasn't sit around talking about it or mulling over how impossible something seems. Instead we needed to bring it to the one who specializes in the impossible. He was listening.

Proof number two:

Yesterday the boys and I decided to go to the Kidscommons for Wacky Science. The draw of marshmallow and chocolate science drew us there even in the rain. As we pulled onto Washington Street I was anticipating finding the parking spaces full and dreading having to walk in the pouring down rain. Instead as we arrived in front of the Kidscommons there was a parking place right there. I exclaimed "yeah front row Joe, we found a spot". Carson followed up with "God provides". Yep that is where the credit was due. Some people would say a parking space has nothing to do with God's grace, but I believe and so did Carson that God knew we needed His undeserved favor on that pouring down day. He was listening.

They were both listening all the time. They were listening and thinking. They may not show it, but they are taking it all in. Not just what we have to say or have shown them, but also the people around them. The Christians who choose to live out their faith and serve as an example to those around them. I am thankful to God for the people He has put in our lives.

I have one more thing I want to share. Forgive my long post. This time I want to talk about how He is listening. Not Ephraim or Carson, but God the Father. God knows that in the last week or so that I have felt very defeated in a lot of ways. I have felt like for once, I wanted some one to care for me. I was really starting to feel sorry for myself. I finally went to Him in prayer and He was listening. Now, I know and Carson and Ephraim know I should have started with God not resorted to "finally" imploring Him. I prayed that God would help me reach out to someone else to include or care for them.

I got my answer to prayer in a phone call. And then after the phone call, God revealed to me that He cared for me. He brought to mind that His very own Son faced the same challenges of being the one to always care for others. He didn't see it as a burden though like I sometimes can. Instead when He was feeling overwhelmed He went to the One who cared for Him. He went to His Father God. When He had fed the 5,000 and had a full day, Jesus didn't slump into a heap and feel sorry for Himself. He didn't say "Look at what I have done" or "Why don't they appreciate me?". He went to His Father in prayer.

He did that for me. So that I could learn from His Word. No, I don't have a Messianic complex. I know that I am NOT the savior of those around me. But I am to be His hands and feet. My Father had a lesson for me. It appears I may not have been listening. I am listening now and I know that He hears my prayers. He is listening and answering too.