Flat Tire Faithful

I am constantly amazed at God's goodness and faithfulness. I notice it in the little things of life, but also in the big things. This weekend, I felt it in a flat tire. You may be asking how I can see God's goodness and faithfulness in such a dilemma. Please indulge me in telling my story.

On Sunday, my niece Lisa and I were leaving Columbus to go to Lafayette. It was late in the afternoon and we had not had lunch. We decided on Arby's at the Outlet Mall even though it was just past the I65 ramp on US 31. There was a bit of traffic backed up on US31 to turn into the mall and it took several minutes to even enter the Arby's parking lot. I was a little sleepy, a lot hungry and beginning to get cranky.

I did what all of us are prone to do. I started to complain when I was made to wait only a short time to place my order at the drive thru. Then I really broke out the sarcasm and grumbling when they took an inordinate amount of time to complete our order. When the our food finally came, I was in full blown complaint mode, because they did not have all of the items in our very simple order. UGH! To top it off, if getting into Arby's wasn't hard enough, getting out was even harder. More waiting.

Then I finally woke up and realized that God had a plan in the waiting. I turned to my niece and said "You know, God's timing is perfect. I know I shouldn't be complaining". "We are probably avoiding some accident or other issue by being here". Little did I know what God really had in store.

I finally began to relax and when it was my turn to pull into the traffic around the Outlet Mall, God gave me the wisdom to take an alternate route that saved us time and made exiting the mall a great deal easier. Relaxing and letting God have control of our time and our travel, I felt much better.

We eased on to I65 almost effortlessly. I was halfway into my sandwich and about four miles into our trip when I heard a loud looming noise. I asked my niece if she thought it was my car making the noise, but she didn't seem to think so. I could see a large pick up truck in my rear view mirror and began to think it might be the culprit. However as it passed us, I could tell this wasn't the truck. It was my car.

In a matter of mere seconds, the car began to lurch and pull to the right. The peace I had felt only moments ago, began to fade quickly. In God's grace, I was able to hit my hazard lights and guide the car carefully to the side of the road. That was the easy part actually.

In the moments that came next, I was filled with panic and yet tried to remain calm for my niece's sake. She could tell her side of the story, but I don't think I did as well as I could have done. I did let out a serious "Help us Jesus!" kind of prayer. The biggest concern for me was getting out of the car. Whew, people really drive fast and often without consideration of the people stuck on the side of the highway. A little public safety announcement: MOVE OVER when you see people on the shoulder of the highway. It is a law for a reason!

I got out to check the car and almost lost my car door to the serious wind people were creating as they whizzed passed us. Not to mention, I was wearing a dress (having just come from church and a meeting). I was seriously concerned I would have a Marilyn Monroe moment and my dress would be flying in the breeze.

Trying to keep my cool, I found that the tire was flat, in fact it was blown out. I decided on a course of action. I got back in the the passenger side of the car and asked my niece to call her father and tell him we were running behind. Then I called Troy to let him know. All the while grasping my AAA card preparing my next move. Somewhere along the way, I began praying again and felt the peace coming slowly back.

Troy instructed me not to call AAA, that he would be there shortly. I begged him not to bring the boys knowing that it was so dangerous on the shoulder of I65. He indulged me and said he would drop the boys off at his parents and be right there.

I began to unload my very full(of total unnecessary junk - in hindsight)trunk. So that the spare tire would be ready for Troy when he arrived. As I was unloading, the spare, I turned to see what appeared to be a tow truck with lights flashing on the approach. I wondered if it might be AAA and that perhaps one of the people whizzing passed me might have actually sent out an SOS on my behalf.

It didn't end up being AAA at all. It was a group of four Amity Volunteer Firefighters. They were sent by God in His faithfulness and in His perfect timing to rescue us. They had just finished fighting a fire when they saw us stranded on the side of the road and thought we could use some help.

I know that God sent them. He had a plan. He wanted me to trust Him. And though, moving forward in prayer was part of that plan, I could see that He timed this all just perfectly. The men changed the tire with expert speed, helped reload the trunk and then offered to guide me back on the highway and follow me to the next exit.

This was the greatest gift they could have offered me. Getting back on the highway especially not able to go full speed with the spare tire, would have been an even bigger nightmare than changing the tire. I was relieved. Flashing lights in my rear view mirror, I watched as they made the way for me to get back on the highway. What an awesome sight to see them shield me from the oncoming traffic. Traffic that was none to happy to be slowed down by my problems. The gracious firefighters followed me off the exit at Franklin. Making it sure that I made it to a safe place where Troy could meet me.

What a picture of God's goodness and faithfulness. Of His protection. Now when I hear the pastor say that "God goes before you and behind you". I will have a real frame of reference. The Amity Volunteer Firefighters were my example of the rear guard that the Bible speaks of in Isaiah 52:12

But you will not leave in haste
or go in flight; for the LORD will go before you,
the God of Israel will be your rear guard.

I am so blessed to serve a God that is Flat Tire Faithful. God doesn't promise all things in our life will go smoothly. There will be bumps in the road, sometimes quite literally. However, He will go before you, and behind you preparing the way. Guiding you in His perfect timing, if only you will let Him. What bumps are you complaining about? Have you considered they might be part of His perfectly timed plan?

A Perfect 10 Isn't About Being a Size 2

Getting ready for the day this morning. I looked in the mirror and saw a very imperfect body. But when I looked closer, I saw something beyond the physical appearance. I saw a con"ten"ted soul.

Okay, I won't lie, I wouldn't mind shedding some pounds. But, all in all, I have a very blessed life. My pants aren't size 2 and my life may not seem ideal to others, but God has given me con"ten"tment.

When you look at what I have: a deep personal relationship with my Savior, a faithful godly husband, two very lively loving boys, a warmly pleasant home and a beat up but still running Honda, I think you can see that I am blessed as my list is obviously only the beginning.

This thought brought me back to a time six or so years ago (before Ephraim was born) when a dear friend became very frustrated and actually angry with me. She told me in a nut shell that I had it "too good" that people couldn't relate to me because my life seemed "too perfect". What did I know about "real life"? I had a "perfect" husband and healthy bouncing baby boy (Carson) and a "cushy" job as Director of Youth Ministries at my church.

What my dear friend didn't take into account was that at that point in my life, I had lost my father and had other painful losses. In fact, I was a person who was always struggling and the one who wasn't the perfect size 2. But all that changed when I came to know Jesus as my personal Savior.

The losses I had faced were still profound, but I could rise above them. Others saw me as someone who "had it all" because of what Christ did for me. My friend and I worked out the tension between us and she came to understand who I really was. A sinner clothed in Christ.


A few years later, I had my "Job" moment. It was as if the devil said to the LORD, "Sara seems to have it all, but what if you threw her nice neat little world into a spin?". Like Job, I had a very outwardly wonderful life, then came Ephraim. After a near perfect pregnancy, Ephraim was born with two serious heart defects. My "perfect" world came crumbling down, but my faith did not.

Troy and I faced the most challenging days of our lives in Ephraim's early years. But, we did not curse God, or turn from our faith. In fact we learned to be con"ten"t in our circumstances. Our faith was tested, but it did not fail. It did not fail because we had Christ as our Rock.

I am not a size 2, and in the world's eyes I am certainly not a Perfect 10. But I do have the same confidence as the Apostle Paul who wrote in Philippians 4:11b-13: "I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength".

I am con"ten"t with what God has given me. A perfect 10 for sure.

Let Me Tell You About My Library

I can't say enough great things about my public library. Our library isn't just for books anymore... I've blogged before about how my mother would borrow artwork from our library. And the delightful evening I spent with my family reliving childhood memories with Cowboy Bob in the Red Room at the library only a couple of months ago.

However, on Thursday night, I had a whole different kind of experience. The library hosted a program by a local floral shop: Claudia's Flora Bunda (www.claudiasflorabunda.com). The program was completely free and included each participant being guided in the creation of their own daisy basket. I don't know how the program came to be, I didn't ask. Whether the flower shop volunteered or the library recruited them, it doesn't matter. It was simply a delightful evening.

I reconnected with my flower design roots as I remembered fondly the floral designs of my mother and grandmother. I was surrounded by people eager to learn and people who were supportive of their efforts. God orchestrated my sitting next to a woman who shared similiar experiences with a child born with a heart defect. It was amazing. I love living in my hometown. I love my library. I love my LORD who brought me back to my hometown after a little waundering. He has great plans for me and hidden treasures, some of which I can find at my own library.

Washed Up & Broken

Walking down the beach at sunrise is not a regular occurrence for me. Doing anything at sunrise for that matter is not part of my routine. However on our family vacation to Folly Beach, South Carolina, I enjoyed a couple of very early mornings on the beach watching the sunrise.

Besides the view of God's beautiful handiwork in the sunrise, I also saw His majesty and grace in the shells that littered the beach. Lapping waves and the squish of sand between my toes. The crunch of small shells under my feet.

Searching for sand dollars and shells, the Lord taught me a lesson about being washed up and broken. My niece was in search of shells worthy to take home for a best friend. She said she didn't want "just any shell", it had to be "special". Looking for the "perfect shell" became a challenge. But what I soon came to realize was that the "perfect shell" didn't exist.

Most of the shells that had washed up were broken or worn by the sea. Even the shells that seemed to be in tact were really just half of what they used to be and the creature that lived inside them was no more. That meant they were not whole, if they weren't whole, they couldn't be perfect. Instead, I began to see the beauty and the desirability of even the most broken shell. I stopped looking for what others considered perfect or beautiful and started looking with different eyes.

That is me, I am washed up and broken. A sinner saved by grace. God has washed me in the waters of baptism, and though I am broken, I am broken as a part of His perfect will for me. My old self is gone and I am transformed into a new creation. My former self is now a new creature in Christ. I am no longer seen as imperfect, Christ's blood makes me perfect in God's eyes. I am treasured by The One who found me. I am in His grasp.

I will display the shells from my trip, but God doesn't want to put me in a container for display. No, He wants to pour me back out and send me out to be His ambassador. He wants me to tell the story of His grace, the story of His Son Jesus Christ whose body was broken for me. That I might be seen as perfect.

Absence of Words

This summer, our family is studying the Book of Proverbs from God's Holy Word. We have decided to divide the study into thirteen different themes. One theme a week until school resumes. Thus far we have looked at Wisdom - an Introduction to Proverbs, Anger, and this week the theme is Words.

I have been given cause to stop and think about my words and more importantly the absence of my words as I am preparing to travel to India this November. When I heard of the great opportunity to reach out in love to the people of India, I was quite excited. I was prayerfully considering what role I might play on our team which will conduct Eyeglass Clinics, Women and Children's Outreach, and Beach Volleyball Clinics.

Anyone who knows me even remotely would realize that beach volleyball will likely NOT be my call on this trip. What would I be doing? Women and Children's Outreach seems a natural fit, a God-given role to explore the gifts He has given me. This will likely be my focus and yet the group's leader suggested that I consider a role at the Prayer Station of the Eyeglass Clinic.

You should have seen my eyes light up. A Prayer Station... a prayer warrior, this is what God has been conditioning me for over the last fourteen years. This most certainly was the fit. I became quite giddy really over the whole idea, I would get to pray for people and see God work. Then a few days later, God gave me an epiphany: "Sara, You don't speak their language, but I do!". I was crushed at first, how was I going to pray effectively for a person who could not understand my words.

Ugh, just writing it makes me sick to my stomach. How prideful I was to think that "my words", were what the people would need to hear. Then God's Holy Spirit spoke to me and said "Sara, I will intercede on your behalf, they will hear My WORDs, not your words". Wow, my then deflated spirit began to explode with great joy. I was going to have the privilege of being filled with the Holy Spirit to speak His WORDs, unfettered by my ill-equipped tongue.

I have now begun to pray for a Pentecost Experience. I am trusting in the LORD that the people will say "How is it that each of us hears her, in our own native language?" (Much liberty taken from Acts 2). It may not be an outward understanding or a direct experience of speaking their language, but I trust that God will reveal Himself through His Word given out through my unworthy mouth.

I also have been struck that my ministry will not be effective on the presence of my words, but the absence of them. I will show His love with my eyes, my hands, my feet, my presence in the country. All of this possible through Him ONLY!!!

As for our study of Words from the Book of Proverbs, we are challenging ourselves to have an absence of words throughout the week. Yesterday was our first challenge. For fifteen minutes, we did not speak a word, hear a word from TV, radio, ipod, etc... we did not type a word or read an email. We simply went about life with no words. A gesture here or there asking silently for our need to be met, perhaps the need for milk to be poured.

I wasn't sure it was possible and yet, I knew with God all things are possible even the silence of a family for a mere fifteen minutes. We did it in God's grace, and it was even at the suggestion of Carson our eight year old. He requested the silence. We all granted that request together with the help of God's Holy Spirit. Imagine what we can do for Him, when we focus on His desire for us!

The amount of words in this blog post are many, yet, I hope they portray our desire to have His Words be our words or the lack there of when necessary. Where do you need the absence of words in your life? Are you seeking the presence of His Words?

Confessions of An Imperfect Mama

On Monday, I admonished my eldest son Carson in public for speaking to me in a way that I perceived was disrespectful. I told him, "Some parents may let their kids speak to them that way, but I'm not one of them". I am sure that I had said it in a gruff tone, because I had lost my patience at least once already. Carson tried to defend himself by saying he didn't mean to be disrespectful and I just wasn't hearing it.

Then Carson said something that stopped me in my tracks. There in the middle of Sam's Club, Carson proclaims "If you were looking for a perfect kid, I am not the one". Wow! Those were powerful words to hear. Taking him in my arms, I tried to back pedal and assure him, I wasn't looking for the perfect kid.

What am I looking for in my kids? I have been mulling it over all week. I can't expect perfect, but isn't it my job to teach my children to be respectful? Yet, was I being respectful of Carson's feelings by gruffly calling him out in Sam's Club? Ugh, parenting is a very difficult job. I have confessed to God privately that I have not been the mother I am called to be, nor have I have been the wife, the sister (in law), daughter (in law) or friend I should be.

Jesus told His disciples in John 13:34, "A new command, I give you, Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another". This verse says it not once, but three times : "Love one another". Jesus says that I must love others as He has loved me. That means unconditionally. Not only when my son behaves respectfully but when he is disrespectful. Not only when I agree with the actions of those I love, but also when I do not.

Yesterday, I let Carson down in some way, I don't even remember what it was that I did. I do remember turning to him in the car and saying "If you were looking for a perfect mama, I am not the one". Something freeing in admitting I am not perfect. That I make mistakes as a parent (wife, sibling, daughter, friend, etc).

Jesus asked the woman caught in adultery (found in John 8:10-11) "Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?" "No one, sir," she said. "Then neither do I condemn you," Jesus declared. "Go now and leave your life of sin." If I am supposed to love like Jesus, then I must have His attitude. He loved the imperfect woman, but He loved her enough to challenge her to change.

I am challenged to change today. To love my children, my husband, my siblings, my in laws, my friends, well everyone, as Jesus does. I have a responsibility with my children to love them unconditionally. Yet, I must challenge as Jesus does with grace and also with firm expectation.

Who do you need to love unconditionally and challenge expectantly today?

So, What Do You Want for Your Birthday?

As my birthday is approaching next month, I have begun to have people ask me: "So, What do you want for your birthday?". This isn't an unusual question to ask someone who is about to celebrate a birthday, but it is a question for me that is full of promise and potential. Not promises of baubles and pretty shiny things, but of the impossible being possible.

Let me tell you the story.... When Ephraim was born October 2004 with a heart condition this was frightening. Then he was having little success with nursing or taking a bottle and was having trouble gaining weight. In January 2005 Ephraim had an NG (nasogastric)feeding tube placed as his primary source of nutrition given he was too weak to eat.

This NG tube was scary, damaging to Ephraim's little cheeks, and just plain overwhelming. Yet, it seemed it was medically necessary to get Ephraim the calories he needed. I had prayed for an answer to Ephraim's inability to take food for a very long time. I agonized before the LORD and I pleaded for Ephraim to gain weight and be restored. Months passed with little progress for Ephraim in the eating and gaining weight area. I continued to pray and search the scriptures.

After Ephraim had his first open heart surgery in April 2005, I began to see many answers to my prayers. Yet, this feeding tube still remained. Ephraim was gaining strength. I prayed for God to show us what we should do. Two of the medical professionals we were dealing with were insistent that Ephraim remain on the NG tube. Yet, this did not seem to be helping Ephraim. I was at my wits end.

The last weekend of April 2005, my mother took me to lunch at Montana Mikes. I can see her now sitting across from me asking me that fateful question: "So, What do you want for your birthday?". I burst into tears and said "All, I want for my birthday is for my baby to be off that NG Tube.". Of course my mother could not fulfill that request, but that was my honest heart's desire. No one thought it possible. It was in fact by some considered medically inadvisable.

I went home after this weekend and prayed. I prayed and I cried. I cried and I prayed. I opened up God's WORD and I said, "SHOW ME!!!!". And there it was, a verse given directly to me from God... "Taste and see that the LORD is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in Him". Psalm 34:8.

The LORD had given me His WORD and then He said to me "Sara, Ephraim needs that tube out so he can taste and see that food is good". I realized in hindsight He was also saying to me, "Sara, take that leap of faith, remove that tube and see that I am good, I can give you what you are asking for".

On May 4, 2005 with the support of Ephraim's loving Christian pediatrician, I removed the NG tube. Ephraim slowly began to see that he could eat on his own, he did not need that tube. He was quite honestly stubborn (comes by it honestly). It took a few agonizing days of trying, but Ephraim was eating very well by the bottle by the time my birthday rolled around on May 9, 2005.

I NEVER thought that I would get my birthday request when I made it that day to my mother at Montana Mikes. It seemed so impossible, yet God made it possible. Here is what I have learned lately though... Yes, God indeed made it possible, however Ephraim had to do the work to eat. God provided the ability and the motivation, but Ephraim had to desire to eat and then he had to make it happen.

God is the God of the IMPOSSIBLE. He can do ANYTHING, but He will NOT force His miracles on ANYONE. We have to want to be healed and be an active participant. He has great things that He will do, if we will just "Taste and see that the LORD is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in Him". Psalm 34:8.

I have been thinking about this post since people began asking me this year what I wanted for my birthday. Then yesterday morning the LORD brought the idea to my mind. In my usual fashion I put it off, then this morning I was doing my Bible Study and I came to Psalm 34. I found the passage I was looking for (not verse 8) and started to move on to the rest of my study, but instead, I turned back (Holy Spirit's nudging) and saw verse 8 underlined in my Bible and a notation in the side of the day Ephraim's NG tube was removed. Okay LORD, I get it. I am supposed to write this post.

Then as I sit here writing, I looked down at verse 9 of Psalm 34. Here is what it says "Fear, the LORD, you His saints, for those who fear Him lack nothing.". Wow, this is so true, of course all of His WORDs are true, yet how personal and meaningful they are to me today.

So, What do I want for my birthday this year? Again this year, I want the IMPOSSIBLE. God is able to answer my request, however, it will require desire on the part of the one who can ultimately take the step to change the situation. It will also take a tremendous leap of faith and a huge amount of determination to see it through.

I am not giving up. I know that God is the God of the IMPOSSIBLE, and I know that it is possible.... Will you (and you know who you are) please, please, please, take that step????

In Memory of My Mother - Carmen Antoinette Coers Carson

I've been thinking about my mother a lot lately. Wondering what she might have to say about different things going on in my life. I don't have my mother to consult as she has gone on to be with her LORD and Savior, but I do have a very precious treasure.

In 2004, My mother compiled a beautiful book she self titled "Omi's Memories". God brought this book to mind when I was searching for answers. Here are a few of her words:

On the subject of flowers..."I love to have fresh flowers in my home. It is the closest I come to having a hobby. I walk in the yard and look down to see a new bloom, it makes me smile. I have been joyfully challenged to do wedding flowers, Lily Pavilion designs, flowers for competition at fairs and flower shows. Flowers for friends and family are often a way I express my love".

On the subject of love and marriage... "I learned that loves is for better and worse, richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part. Love is a huge commitment, be prepared to go the distance. Poppy* said, "I hope someday you will love me as much as I love you." He was exceedingly kind and long suffering".


*Poppy was the term of endearment given to my father David Carson by my sister Maria's daughter Lisa. Lisa was the only grandchild to meet her Poppy.

As a way to honor the memory of my mother, Ephraim and I made a flower design using a twig and container from her collection. The flowers came from our own yard and Ephraim proudly helped me cut them with his own scissors. I am not only printing her words for you to read, but am doing my very best (with Christ's help) to live them. To share a love for flowers, a love for my husband & sons and most importantly a love for my LORD.

A Spring Break Special Dessert!

It is Spring Break and we are all on vacation! Troy took the week off. Yesterday we went to the Children's Museum and today we are all hanging out at home. Ephraim had earned a special dessert on his chart (kept for motivation to sleep in his own bed). We decided to make the Rainbow Cupcakes from this month's Family Fun magazine.

Ephraim stuck right there with me until near the end. Six bowls of batter each tinted a different color and layered in a muffin tin. Lots of work, but lots of fun. They don't bother to show you the pile of dirty dishes you make at the end (but I am showing you!). Troy said "That looks like a pain"... I said "Yes, but that is what makes a Special Dessert special". And special it was indeed!

A rainbow reminds me of God's promise never to flood the entire earth again. And I can claim the strength that God always keeps His promises. No matter what we face whether a pile of dirty dishes of our own doing or a serious illness or devastating family news, God is in control and He always keeps His promises.

Snow Day!

Today is the first snow day of 2010! My regular morning call from my sister came a little earlier than usual and roused me from my snow day slumber. She couldn't talk long because she had to give extra attention to driving in the snowy weather. We Columbus folk must not have the fortitude for the snow like they do up north.

I was up and I knew that it was a gentle nudge from the LORD to get back into the routine of starting my day with Him in His WORD and in prayer. The last few weeks I have not been as faithful with my quiet time with Him. I've noticed a difference in how I handle life when I am not close to Him and I do NOT like it.

So, today on this snow day, I gathered close to His bosom and found the comfort I needed. At almost mid day, I have been able to see Him working in me and the boys. I got tired of looking at the brown bananas on my kitchen counter and did not want them to go to waste. From them a batch of banana bread was born. I was delighted to use the mini loaf pans that had belonged to my mom. I am already planning how I can share them with a neighbor or two!

It has been a blessing too, to see the boys taking delight in the Lego catalog. That catalog brought Carson and Ephraim together as they dreamt of what they might like to buy and even gave Carson cause to do some serious double digit math. I was really impressed with his adding skills.

This snow day has been a great day so far! I am glad God is in charge. I think, I'll go have some banana bread!